|
2004-09-12 His face was powdered into a mask that let me focus on his hands that I had held over the hospital bed rail off and on over the last year. It was nice that he had a chance to hide even in these quietest moments of his quiet life. But still they had him propped out of the casket. You could see him from anywhere in the room and later everywhere in the sanctuary. I couldn't help but feel that he wouldn't want to be the center of the attention. He died when everyone had left during the evening. My grandmother by his side left for a brief minute and he had expired by the time she'd returned. It is this brave kind of loneliness I think we shared sometimes. I found pictures while rescuing mementos before the house splits apart this week. A picture of Grandpa and I in a photo I didn't realize I had...and which I didn't think he smiled in. A smile delayed. I had started a habit of sitting by him and giving him kisses on his bald head a few years before he had gotten sick. I miss him. |