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2004-09-01 My grandpa is starving himself to death in a hospital bed, saying that he's not coming home this time. It makes me think these selfish thoughts that I shouldn't even voice. Thinking "I hope he doesn't die when I have a dentist appointment for the first time in so long" or "Why does he have to die when I'm not really on speaking terms with my mother?" There has been this turmoil I've been able to hold at least arms' length away. People; however, create their own centripetal force outside of time and gravity. I don't even know these words that come from my mouth anymore. |