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2003-11-22

I am now Aunt Kif as of today to a little pink baby girl; Katherine Abigail. Very regal title for a very little baby yet but she'll have to grow into it. I feel very responsible in being a good aunt now and excited too.

We pass names back and forth between each other though we wince at little kids tugging on people's winter coats. We think of maybe Beta but called Bee or maybe Art or Dot. Short and snappy.

It's this whole issue of legacy. The whole of forgetting yourself for someone else, letting someone else try their own legacy. A trade for biology, a surrending of art.

I know I am still very naive about all these going-ons and it might not be quite the truth also.

All year going back and forth between invisibility of the narrative over the movement of my eyes and that of yearning to speak of philosophy and human nature and of words. It's this issue of living enough before you can write or say enough.

There is this sticky quote from Winesburg, Ohio I carry with me lately:

"Everyone knows of the talking artists. Throughout all of the known history of the world they have gathered in rooms and talked. They talk of art and are passionately, almost feverishly, in earnest about it. They think it matters much more than it does."

PS: I've decided to be a librarian today.