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2002-05-06 Waiting for the other alter-ego diary to be shut down, just waiting for it to clap on itself like a book slamming closed. And on to the next one... ...reading through before sending out the SOS signaling extinction it's funny how much you can change in the manner of a year and a half. Maybe writing exaggerates it, because with practice, writing usually changes as well. But still the core, the omniprescent mood, still there even though you seem to be making choices still stemming from the same core, just information is lacking. Information that can be handed over in words but doesn't always translate beyond their symbolic meaning into something tangible. If there was a way to make these leaps easier for people...I would. All these years. I've been resisting something that's always been so natural to thought. That I've always have wanted to teach or reach out or help or etc. But not wanting to, it seemed to easy of a choice. And would I really want to be a teacher. Of course. But now I'm just 'mature' enough to realize that helping others in day-to-day situation full-time is something I can do. That it isn't passe or something Methodist upbringings carved into me over the years. I needed to make the decision for myself. |