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2005-03-15 An essay for part-time grad school seems insurmountable right now. It is not enough to say I want to prevent dullheadedness or that I'd like to learn more math in a vague kind of way. There should be a kind of purpose and force in it that seems misplaced. I feel as if I need to make up an end goal--mathematician at the NSA, math teacher, actuarial scientist, computational whatever and ever. I'd really just like to learn more about ring theory but lack the eloquence and knowledge to put it smartly. In the mean time, we shuffle offers back and forth on houses. I hide down a dark hallway checking out a/v equipment to those who can find me in the library. I keep track of arbitrary numbers in a way that should make me feel adult-like. I look at recipes I should make and books I should read. I do start a class in C programming in a week for fun. There is a unwrapped box with Mac OS X Panther on the table with the proper tool kit and compiler that I need. PS. I went to New York City though I can't drum up the details of anything except things that seem somewhat cliche. I saw a lot of white headphones & Joan Miro pieces at MOMA and ate too much. PSS. I would like to write of things like being a good neighbor and how strange it is to feel as if you could love so many people in your small life but won't. PSSS. No babies. |