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2004-07-28 I'm not very proud of myself. It's happened. My mom sent my dad out of the house to his mother's place Sunday afternoon because she needed to think. Shannon was making a round to Steak-n-Shake with friends. When my dad got back, my mom had packed her bags and slipped out. She called around midnight to my dad saying that she was staying with her parents. There are all these quotations of things said that stab around every thought i think. I can't write simultaneously in layers. She emptied the joint savings and put it into a personal checking account. She told my 17 year old sister that she was staying at my grandparents because they're sick. It's as if she has not ever whispered the truth to herself even in the back alleys of her mind. And still can't. Even the vaguest sense. My dad filed for divorce yesterday. It is this secret race. Did she file on the day before that? Who's going to be served the papers first? Don't tell anyone. She hasn't called me or my sister in town. I seriously doubt that she will initiate a phone call to us unless it is to offer a chilling sort of silence after 'hello'. It isn't my place to seek her out. It is her turn to start this. I am not proud but I really don't think I can be the understanding and loving daughter of my mother for a long time. |